More minor cleanups:
1. Fix small typo "retorted ." -> "retorted." 2. Remove from fortunes a story that is duplicated in fortunes2-o 3. Remove from fortunes and fortunes2-o Zippy the Pinhead quotes that are already in the zippy file. 4. ... therefore remove zippy from fortunes.sp.ok 5. Remove a duplicate in the zippy file.
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2020-12-20 02:59:44 +00:00
svn path=/head/; revision=165843
@ -2839,21 +2839,6 @@ it always me, teacher?"
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explains.
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-- being told in Poland, 1987
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%
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Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of
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her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit
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the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her
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way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly
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begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her
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stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
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"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of
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the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't
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mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your
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wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
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"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one
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can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
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"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on
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the dining room skylight."
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%
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Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she
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lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always
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@ -5504,11 +5489,6 @@ may make mistakes also. But it is permissible to make a judgment after you
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have examined the evidence. In some circles it is even encouraged.
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-- Carl Sagan, "The Burden of Skepticism"
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%
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... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ...
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%
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"... bleakness... desolation... plastic forks..."
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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... But as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can
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easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed
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and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession)
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@ -6415,9 +6395,6 @@ is to make a copy of everything before he destroys it.
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A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.
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-- Paul Valery
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%
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"A can of ASPARAGUS, 73 pigeons, some LIVE ammo, and a FROZEN DAIQURI!!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich
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and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
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%
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@ -9713,9 +9690,6 @@ All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own
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importance.
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%
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All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled
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by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS ...
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%
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All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard,
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ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.
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-- Kingfish
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@ -15810,9 +15784,6 @@ that's how dogs spend their lives.
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%
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Did you ever wonder what you'd say to God if He sneezed?
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%
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"Did YOU find a DIGITAL WATCH in YOUR box of VELVEETA?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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Did you hear about the model who sat
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on a broken bottle and cut a nice figure?
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%
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@ -15888,9 +15859,6 @@ Didja' ever have to make up your mind?
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%
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Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?
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%
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"Didn't I buy a 1951 Packard from you last March in Cairo?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore
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would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
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-- John Barrymore's dying words
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@ -23576,9 +23544,6 @@ I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British.
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I didn't like the play, but I saw it under adverse conditions.
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The curtain was up.
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%
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"I didn't order any WOO-WOO... Maybe a YUBBA... But no WOO-WOO!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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I disagree with what you say, but will defend
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to the death your right to tell such LIES!
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%
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@ -24150,9 +24115,6 @@ I have a very small mind and must live with it.
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I have a very strange feeling about this...
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-- Luke Skywalker
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%
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"I have accepted Provolone into my life!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to
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sacrifice my wife's brother.
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-- Artemus Ward
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@ -24413,8 +24375,6 @@ I just ate a whole package of Sweet Tarts and a can of Coke.
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I think I saw God.
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-- B. Hathrume Duk
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%
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I just forgot my whole philosophy of life!!!
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%
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I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels].
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He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial
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and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I
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@ -25488,9 +25448,6 @@ Elsewhere', won't scream, `FORGET IT, BLANCHE ... IT'S TIME FOR "HEE
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HAW"!!'"
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-- Berke Breathed, "Bloom County"
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%
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I want to kill everyone here with a cute colorful Hydrogen Bomb!!
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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I want to marry a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad.
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-- Freud
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%
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@ -28081,9 +28038,6 @@ The world should make a place for shoe salesmen.
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I'm an evolutionist; I refuse to believe
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that I could have been created by man.
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%
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"I'm ANN LANDERS!! I can SHOPLIFT!!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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I'm changing my name to Chrysler
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I'm going down to Washington, D.C.
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I'll tell some power broker
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@ -28102,7 +28056,7 @@ I'm dying beyond my means.
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-- Oscar Wilde, his last words, while sipping champagne
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%
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"I'm dying," he croaked.
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"My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted .
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"My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted.
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"You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized.
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"That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered.
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"The fire is going out," he bellowed.
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@ -29362,10 +29316,6 @@ Is a computer language with goto's totally Wirth-less?
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%
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Is a person who blows up banks an econoclast?
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%
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"Is a tatoo real, like a curb or a battleship?
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Or are we suffering in Safeway?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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Is a wedding successful if it comes off without a hitch?
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%
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Is death legally binding?
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@ -35153,9 +35103,6 @@ from which we can explore and understand and utilize it. To turn back now
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would be to deny our history, our capabilities.
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-- James A. Michener
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%
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"My pants just went on a wild rampage through a Long Island Bowling Alley!!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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My parents went to Niagra Falls and all I got was this crummy life.
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%
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My pen is at the bottom of a page,
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@ -37384,8 +37331,6 @@ girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers. "God bless Mommy and Daddy and
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Keith and Kim," she said. As she began to get up, she quickly added, "Oh,
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and God, this is goodbye. We're moving to Hollywood."
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%
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On the road, ZIPPY is a pinhead without a purpose, but never without a POINT.
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%
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On the subject of C program indentation:
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"In My Egotistical Opinion, most people's C programs should be
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@ -57657,10 +57602,6 @@ Who was that masked man?
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%
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Who will take care of the world after you're gone?
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%
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"WHOA!! Ken and Barbie are having TOO MUCH FUN!!
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It must be the NEGATIVE IONS!!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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Whoever dies with the most toys wins.
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%
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Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
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@ -60906,30 +60847,6 @@ You've got to pity New Mexico... so far from heaven and so close to Texas.
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"TOMORROW! I haven't even prepared for *_________yesterday* yet!"
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%
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"Yow! Am I having fun yet?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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"Yow! Am I in Milwaukee?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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"Yow! And then we could sit on the hoods of cars at stop lights!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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"Yow! Did something bad happen or am I in a drive-in movie?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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YOW!! Everybody out of the GENETIC POOL!
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%
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"Yow! Is this sexual intercourse yet? Is it, huh, is it?"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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"Yow!! Those people look exactly like Donnie and Marie Osmond!!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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"Yow! Now I get to think about all the BAD THINGS I did
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to a BOWLING BALL when I was in JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL!"
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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YO-YO:
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Something that is occasionally up but normally down.
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(see also Computer).
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@ -1249,7 +1249,6 @@ Yoric
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Youngman
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Yuletide
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Yutang
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ZIPPY
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ZORAC
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Zanuck
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Zappa
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@ -1259,7 +1258,6 @@ Zelkowitz
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Zeno's
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Zern
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Zilla
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Zippy
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Zonker
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Zorkmids
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Zorro
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@ -7076,9 +7076,6 @@ Heisenberg may have done it.
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At a mouthful of spunk,
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But the smell of his ass makes me sick!"
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%
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"Hello? Enema Bondage? I'm calling because I want to be happy, I guess..."
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-- Zippy the Pinhead
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%
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Hello, children!!
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This is Uncle Dennis welcoming you to your very own fortune.
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Today we are going to hear a story, so sit right here on my lap
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@ -217,8 +217,6 @@ Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!
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Hand me a pair of leather pants and a CASIO keyboard -- I'm living for
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today!
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%
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Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES??
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%
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Has everybody got HALVAH spread all over their ANKLES?? ... Now, it's
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time to "HAVE A NAGEELA"!!
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%
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