Nuke duplicates found via fuzzy logic:

- typos
- different spelling, punctuation, whitespace
- phonetically similar names
- words rearranged ("was once" vs "once was" etc)

If a limerick appeared as a single one and as part of a
double or triple, the singleton was removed.

With a little help from: sort limerick|uniq -d
This still turns up 20 lines being repeated, but the respective
limericks are sufficiently unique to leave them in (i.e. most differ
in at least two lines).

Nuke spaces in front of colons while I'm here.

games/fortune/datfiles/limerick

@@ -6,12 +6,6 @@ A most reprehensible kid,
 And the worst of it was that it did!
 %
 A bather whose clothing was strewed
-By breezes that left her quite nude,
-	Saw a man come along
-	And, unless I am wrong,
-You expected this line to be lewd.
-%
-A bather whose clothing was strewed
 By breezes that left her quite nude,
 	Saw a man come along
 	And, unless I'm quite wrong,
@@ -60,12 +54,6 @@ Was heard to confess in her cups:
 	Was diddling a collie-
 But I got a nice price for the pups."
 %
-A broken-down harlot named Tupps
-Was heard to confess in her cups:
-	"The height of my folly
-	Was fucking a collie --
-But I got a nice price for the pups."
-%
 A burlesque dancer, a pip
 Named Virginia, could peel in a zip;
 	But she read science fiction
@@ -85,12 +73,6 @@ Grew steadily flipper and flipper.
 	With fragments of glass
 And thus circumcised his old skipper.
 %
-A cautious young fellow named Lodge
-Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
-	When his date was strapped in,
-	He committed a sin,
-Without even leaving his grodge.
-%
 A cautious young fellow named Lodge,
 Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge.
 	With his date all strapped in
@@ -154,14 +136,8 @@ Invented a jack-off machine.
 	The fuckin' thing broke
 And beat both his balls to a creame.
 %
-A clever young man named Eugene
-Invented a jack-off machine.
-	On the twenty-third stroke
-	The goddam thing broke
-And beat both his balls to a creame.
-%
 A cocksucking steno named Beeman
-Remarked as she swallowed my semen :
+Remarked as she swallowed my semen:
 	"On my minuscule salary
 	 I must watch every calorie,
 So I get `ahead' eating you he-men!"
@@ -191,12 +167,6 @@ Had a notion exceedingly droll:
 	Dressed in nothing at all,
 She backed in as a Parker House roll.
 %
-A couple was fishing near Clombe
-When the maid began looking quite glum,
-	And said, "Bother the fish!
-	I'd rather coish!"
-Which they did -- which was why they had come.
-%
 A cowhand way out in Seattle
 Had a dooflicker flat as a paddle.
 	He said, "No, I can't fuck
@@ -234,7 +204,7 @@ Was sucking a cock on the jetty.
 Though not quite as good as spaghetti."
 %
 A delighted, incredulous bride
-Remarked to her groom at her side :
+Remarked to her groom at her side:
 	"I never could quite
 	 Believe till tonight
 Our anatomies would coincide."
@@ -288,13 +258,6 @@ Whose overworked sex is all callous,
 Through exuberance, tightness, and malice.
 %
 A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
-Wished to foster an aura of menace;
-	To make people afraid
-	He wore gloves of grey suede
-And white footgear intended for tennis.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
-A dreary young bank clerk named Fennis
 Wished to foster an aura of menace.
 	To make people afraid
 	He wore gloves of grey suede
@@ -349,12 +312,6 @@ Had sex with a virgin named Grace.
 	She made things hairy
 By bleeding all over his face.
 %
-A frustrated lady named Alice
-Used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
-	They found her vagina
-	In North Carolina
-And bits of her tits were in Dallas.
-%
 A gay young prince from Morocco
 Made love in a manner rococco.
 	He painted his penis
@@ -367,18 +324,6 @@ Scientifically played with himself,
 	He labled it: son,
 And filed him away on a shelf.
 %
-A geneticist living in Delft
-Scientifically played with himself,
-	And when he was done
-	He labled it: son,
-And filed him away on a shelf.
-A gentleman, otherwise meek,
-Detested with passion the leek;
-	When offered one out
-	He dealt such a clout
-To the maid, she was down for a week.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
 A gentleman, otherwise meek,
 Detested with passion the leek;
 	When offered one out
@@ -387,7 +332,7 @@ To the maid, she was down for a week.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
 A german composer named Bruckner
-Remarked to a lady while fuckener :
+Remarked to a lady while fuckener:
 	"Less lento, my dear,
 	 With your cute little rear;
 I like a hot presto when muckener!"
@@ -487,7 +432,7 @@ By his mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.
 A happy old hooker named Grace
 Once sponsored a cunt-lapping race.
 	It was hard for beginners
-	To tell who were winners :
+	To tell who were winners:
 There were cunt hairs all over the place.
 %
 A hardware debugger named Court
@@ -516,7 +461,7 @@ Once had an affair with a ghost.
 Cried, "Goodie, I feel it... almost."
 %
 A hidebound young virgin named Carrie
-Would say, when the fellows got hairy :
+Would say, when the fellows got hairy:
 	"Keep your prick in your pants
 	Till the end of this dance--"
 Which is why Carrie still has her cherry.
@@ -620,12 +565,6 @@ To revise her existence misspent.
 Where she stayed through the following Lent.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
-A lady while dining at Crewe
-Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
-	Said the waiter, "Don't shout,
-	And don't wave it about,
-Or the others will all want one too."
-%
 A lady, while dining in Crewe,
 Found an elephant's whang in her stew.
 	Said the waiter, "Don't shout
@@ -693,12 +632,6 @@ Once rode through the streets in the nude.
 	Agnificent bottom"
 And slapped it as hard as they could.
 %
-A lovely young maid from St. Jude
-Once rode through the streets in the nude.
-	The police cried, "Whatam--
-	Agnificent bottom"
-And slapped it as hard as they cude.
-%
 A lusty young maid from Seattle
 Got pleasure by sleeping with cattle;
 	Till she found a bull
@@ -862,12 +795,6 @@ Fell in love with a dashing young beau.
 	She would squat in his yard
 And longingly pee in the sneaux.
 %
-A petulant man once said, "Pish,
-Your cunt is as big as a dish."
-	She replied, "Why, you fool,
-	With your limp little tool,
-It's like driving a pin with a fish."
-%
 A physical fellow named Fisk
 Could screw at a rate very brisk.
 	So fast was his action
@@ -904,12 +831,6 @@ Plumbed the cook as she bent o'er the sink.
 	And John Brink petered out,
 With his pipe-wrench all limber and pink.
 %
-A potter who lived in Bombay
-Once fashioned a cunt out of clay;
-	But the heat of his prick
-	Kilned the damn thing to brick
-And chafed all his foreskin away.
-%
 A pretty wife living in Tours
 Demanded her daily amour.
 	But the husband said, "No!
@@ -923,12 +844,6 @@ Was raped in a pasture by seven
 And such is the Kingdom of Heaven.
 %
 A pretty young lady named Vogel
-Once sat herself down on a molehill.
-	A curious mole
-	Nosed into her hole --
-Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.
-%
-A pretty young lady named Vogel
 Once sat herself down on a molehill.
      A curious mole
      Nosed into her hole --
@@ -983,12 +898,6 @@ Had no qualms about taking a chance,
 	To get screwed in the nude,
 So she always went home with damp pants.
 %
-A remarkable race are the Persians;
-They have such peculiar diversions.
-	They make love the whole day
-	In the usual way
-And save up the nights for perversions.
-%
 A remarkable race are the Persians,
 They have such peculiar diversions.
 	They screw the whole day
@@ -1133,18 +1042,6 @@ Was renowned for her fine paroxysm.
 	She still spent on with zest,
 Her rapture sheer anachronism.
 %
-A talented girl from Detroit
-Could fuck you in ways quite adroit.
-	She could squeeze her vagina
-	To a pin-point or finer
-Or open it out like a quoit.
-%
-A team playing baseball in Dallas
-Called te umpire blind out of malice.
-	While this worthy had fits
-	The team made eight hits
-And a girl in the bleachers named Alice.
-%
 A team playing baseball in Dallas
 Called the umpire blind out of malice.
 	While this worthy had fits
@@ -1256,12 +1153,6 @@ Was to keep her late husband on ice
 Cold comfort, but cheap at the price."
 %
 A wonderful bird is the pelican.
-His mouth can hold more than his belican.
-	He can take in his beak
-	Enough food for a week.
-And I'm darned if I know how the helican.
-%
-A wonderful bird is the pelican.
 His mouth can hold more than his belican.
 	He can take in his beak
 	Enough food for a week.
@@ -1291,14 +1182,8 @@ Discovered red spots on his tool.
 	"Get out of my clinic
 Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
 %
-A worried young man from Stamboul
-Founds lots of red spots on his tool.
-	Said the doctor, a cynic,
-	"Get out of my clinic;
-Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"
-%
 A young bride and groom of Australia
-Remarked as they joined genitalia :
+Remarked as they joined genitalia:
 	"Though the system seems odd,
 	 We are thankful that God
 Developed the genus Mammalia."
@@ -1396,12 +1281,6 @@ Made love to his sweetheart beserkly.
 	He would break off and fuck her
 Horizontally, laterally and verkeley.
 %
-A young systems programmer of Sprotic
-Found his software intensely erotic.
-	In jealous distress
-	He wiped his OS.
-It's possible that he's a psychotic.
-%
 A young violinist from Rio
 Was seducing a woman named Cleo.
 	As she took down her panties
@@ -1505,12 +1384,6 @@ Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
 And all she recalls is the ache.
 %
 An artist who lived in Australia
-Once painted his ass like a Dahlia.
-	The drawing was fine,
-	The colour - devine,
-The scent - ah, that was a failia.
-%
-An artist who lived in Australia
 Once painted his ass like a Dahlia.
 	The drawing was fine,
 	The colour - divine,
@@ -1522,12 +1395,6 @@ Once buggered a VAX Unibus.
 	But not the young lad
 (Except for the toupee and truss).
 %
-An eager young hacker named Gus
-Once buggered a VAX Unibus.
-	The hardware went bad,
-	But not the young lad
-He didn't expect all that fuss!
-%
 An Edwardian father named Udgeon,
 Whose offspring provoked him to dudgeon,
 	Used on Saturday nights
@@ -1587,7 +1454,7 @@ She threw herself under a carriage.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
 An inquisitive virgin named Dora
-Asked the man who started to bore 'er :
+Asked the man who started to bore 'er:
 	"Do you mean birds and bees
 	Go through antics like these,
 To suppy us our fauna and flora?"
@@ -1698,7 +1565,7 @@ Asked a supplicant priest of the pontiff,
 His holiness murmured, "Gut yontiff."
 %
 At a contest for farting in Butte
-One lady's exertion was cute :
+One lady's exertion was cute:
 	It won the diploma
 	For fetid aroma,
 And three judges were felled by the brute.
@@ -1741,13 +1608,6 @@ Fan would giggle and show off her knees;
 And weep from a sense of unease.
 		-- Edward Gorey
 %
-Augustus, for slpashing his soup,
-Was put for the night on the stoop;
-	In the morning he'd not
-	Repented a jot,
-And next day he was dead of the croup.
-		-- Edward Gorey
-%
 Augustus, for splashing his soup,
 Was put for the night on the stoop;
 	In the morning he'd not
@@ -1812,12 +1672,6 @@ Complacently stroking his madam,
 	For on all of the earth
 There were only two balls -- and he had 'em.
 %
-In the little French town of Le'Beau,
-Lived a maiden exceedingly droll.
-	At a masquerade ball,
-	Clad in nothing at all,
-She backed in as a Parker house roll.
-%
 It always delights me at Hank's
 To walk up the old river banks.
 	One time in the grass
@@ -1861,7 +1715,7 @@ Discovered a marvelous fossil.
 	And the knot on the end,
 T'was the penis of Paul the Apostle.
 %
-There a young man from the Coast
+There was a young man from the Coast
 Who had an affair with a ghost.
 	At the height of orgasm
 	Said the pallid phantasm,
@@ -1903,12 +1757,6 @@ Who lived their life belly to belly.
 	They used library paste,
 Instead of petroleum jelly.
 %
-There once was a couple named Kelly
-Who walked around belly-to-belly.
-	It seems in their haste,
-	They used Carter's paste
-Instead of petroleum jelly.
-%
 There once was a dentist named Stone
 Who saw all his patients alone.
 	In a fit of depravity
@@ -1917,7 +1765,7 @@ And my, how his practice has grown!
 %
 There once was a Duchess of Beever
 Who slept with her golden retriever.
-	Said the potted old Duke :
+	Said the potted old Duke:
 	"Such tricks make me puke!
 Were it not for her money, I'd leave her."
 %
@@ -1969,12 +1817,6 @@ Who attempted to bugger a beagle,
 	Turned and said with a twitch,
 "It's fun, but you know it's illegal."
 %
-There once was a fellow named Sweeney
-Who spilled gin all over his weenie.
-	Not being uncouth,
-	He added vermouth
-And slipped his amour a martini.
-%
 There once was a fencer named Fisk,
 Whose speed was incredibly brisk.
 	So fast was his action,
@@ -2131,12 +1973,6 @@ Caught a man on top of his mar.
 	He said with a snicker,
 "You do it much faster than par."
 %
-There once was a lady from Exeter,
-So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
-	One was even so brave
-	As to take out and wave
-The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
-%
 There once was a lady from Kansas
 Whose cunt was as big as Bonanzas.
 	It was nine inches deep
@@ -2205,18 +2041,6 @@ Who had a prodigious diameter
 	That brought forth the cries
 'Twas his rythm, iambic pentameter.
 %
-There once was a man from Madras,
-Whose balls were made out of brass.
-	When they clanged together,
-	They played "Stormy Weather",
-And lightning shot out of his ass.
-%
-There once was a man from Nantee
-Who buggered an ape in a tree.
-	The results were most horrid
-	All ass and no forehead
-Three balls and a purple goatee.
-%
 There once was a man from Nantucket
 Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
 	His daughter, named Nan,
@@ -2235,18 +2059,6 @@ Pa followed the pair to Pawtucket,
 	"You're welcome to Nan."
 But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
 %
-There once was a man from Nantucket,
-Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
-	He said with a grin,
-	As he wiped off his chin,
-If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
-%
-There once was a man from Nantucket
-Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
-	He said with a grin
-	As he wiped off his chin,
-"If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."
-%
 There once was a man from Racine,
 Who invented a screwing machine.
 	Both concave and convex,
@@ -2283,12 +2095,6 @@ Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney
 	He added vermouth
 And slipped his best girl a martini.
 %
-There once was a man named McSweeny
-Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny.
-	Just to be couth,
-	He added vermouth,
-And slipped his girlfriend a martini.
-%
 There once was a man named Parridge
 With peculiar views on marriage.
 	He sucked off his brother,
@@ -2409,12 +2215,6 @@ Engaged to look after the deacon's field,
 	And diddled the bitches
 Who happened to cross that antique 'un's field.
 %
-There once was a young fellow named Blaine,
-And he screwed some disgusting old jane.
-	She was ugly and smelly,
-	With an awful pot-belly,
-But... well, they were caught in the rain.
-%
 There once was a young girl from Natches
 Who chanced to be born with two snatches
 	She often said, "Shit!
@@ -2449,12 +2249,6 @@ Who fell in an outhouse, and died.
 	Who fell in another
 And now they're interred side by side.
 %
-There once was a young man named Gene,
-Who invented a screwing machine.
-	Concave and convex,
-	It served either sex,
-And it played with itself inbetween.
-%
 There once was a young man named Lancelot
 Whom the townsfolk would look at askance a lot
 	For when he should pass
@@ -2479,12 +2273,6 @@ Who buggered each other at once.
 	For this intricate mount,
 They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."
 %
-There once were two women from Birmingham.
-And this is the story concerning 'em.
-	They lifted the frock
-	And fondled the cock
-Of the bishop as he was confirming 'em.
-%
 There was a bluestocking in Florence
 Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents,
 	Till a Spanish grandee,
@@ -2533,12 +2321,6 @@ Whose roe he was frequently shooting,
 	With a face like my arse,
 And a cunt you could put a top-boot in.
 %
-There was a girl from Aberystwyth
-Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with.
-	The miller's son Jack
-	Laid her flat on her back
-And united the organs they pissed with.
-%
 There was a lewd fellow named Duff
 Who loved to dive deep in the muff.
 	With his head in a whirl
@@ -2630,12 +2412,6 @@ Who thought that to frig was a folly.
 	Means nothing to me,
 But I'll do it just to be jolly."
 %
-There was a young fellow called Clyde
-Who fell in an outhouse and died.
-	He had a twin brother
-	Who fell in another
-So now they're interred side by side.
-%
 There was a young fellow from Cal.,
 In bed with a passionate gal.
 	He leapt from the bed,
@@ -2648,12 +2424,6 @@ Who liked a friend's wife, so he borrowed her.
 	He cried, "God strike me dead!
 This ain't a cunt -- it's a corridor!"
 %
-There was a young fellow from Kent
-Whose cock was so long that it bent
-	To save himself trouble
-	He put it in double
-And instead of coming, he went.
-%
 There was a young fellow from Leeds
 Who swallowed a package of seeds.
 	Great tufts of grass
@@ -2942,12 +2712,6 @@ Who said, "Screwing is one thing I do know.
 	And a sheep is divine,
 But a llama is Numero Uno."
 %
-There was a young gaucho named Bruno
-Who said, "There is one thing I do know,
-	Women are fine
-	And children devine,
-But the llama is numero uno."
-%
 There was a young German named Ringer
 Who was screwing an opera singer.
 	Said he with a grin,
@@ -2972,12 +2736,6 @@ From her fanny there grew a plum tree.
 	To tell you the truth,
 Because they knew it came from her tooty-toot-toot.
 %
-There was a young girl from East Lynn
-Whose mother ( to save her from sin )
-	Had filled up her crack
-	With hard-setting shellac,
-But the boys picked it out with a pin.
-%
 There was a young girl from Hong Kong
 Who said, "You are utterly wrong
 	To say my vagina
@@ -3008,12 +2766,6 @@ A tool that was strangely indented.
 	He punctured that girl,
 And thus was the cork-screw invented.
 %
-There was a young girl from New York
-Who plugged up her quim with a cork
-	A woodpecker or two
-	Made the grade, it is true,
-But it totally baffled the stork.
-%
 There was a young girl from Peru,
 Who had nothing whatever to do.
 	So she sat on the stairs,
@@ -3122,12 +2874,6 @@ Who wanted to dance in the ballet.
 	When she kicked off her drawers,
 But her hair and her bush didn't tally.
 %
-There was a young girl named Saphire
-Who succumbed to her lovers desire.
-	She said, "It's a sin,
-	But now that it's in,
-Could you shove it a few inches higher?"
-%
 There was a young girl named Sapphire
 Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
 	She said, "It's a sin,
@@ -3287,12 +3033,6 @@ Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat.
 And always had plenty to eat.
 %
 There was a young girl who begat
-Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat.
-	T'was fun in the breeding
-	But hell in the feeding
-When she found there's no tit for Tat.
-%
-There was a young girl who begat
 Three brats, by name Nat, Pat, and Tat.
 	It was fun in the breeding,
 	But hell in the feeding,
@@ -3334,12 +3074,6 @@ Whose screams could be heard for a block away.
 	The Rabbi in terror
 Cried, "God! I have cut his whole cock away!"
 %
-There was a young lad from Nahant
-Who was made like the Sensitve Plant.
-	When asked, "Do you fuck?"
-	He replied, "No such luck.
-I would if I could but I can't."
-%
 There was a young lad from Siam,
 Whose sexlife was caught in a jam.
 	He loved them real small,
@@ -3371,12 +3105,6 @@ Who complained that it hurt her to pee.
 	"That accounts for the state
 Of the cook and the captain and me."
 %
-There was a young lady at sea
-Who said, "God, how it hurts me to pee."
-	"I see," said the mate,
-	"That accounts for the state
-Of the captain, the purser, and me."
-%
 There was a young lady called Ciss
 Who went to the river to piss.
 	A young man in a punt
@@ -3389,12 +3117,6 @@ Who slept while the ship lay at anchor
 	When she heard the mate say:
 "Let's lift up the topsheet and spanker!"
 %
-There was a young lady from Bright,
-Whose speed was much faster than light.
-	She went out one day
-	In a relative way
-And returned on the previous night.
-%
 There was a young lady from Bristol
 Who went to the Palace called Crystal.
 	Said she, "It's all glass,
@@ -3627,12 +3349,6 @@ Who went on a date with a builder.
 	And he could and he should,
 And he did and it damn well near killed her.
 %
-There was a young lady named Gloria
-Who was had by Sir Gerald Du Maurier,
-	And then by six men,
-	Sir Gerald again,
-And the band at the Waldorf-Astoria.
-%
 There was a young lady named Gloria,
 Whose boyfriend said, "May I explore ya?"
 	She replied to the chap,
@@ -3694,12 +3410,6 @@ Whose tits would jiggle like jelly.
 And could even swat flies on her belly.
 %
 There was a young lady named Ransom
-Who was raped three times in a hansom
-	When she cried out for more
-	Said a voice from the floor,
-"My name, ma'am, is Simpson, not Samson
-%
-There was a young lady named Ransom
 Who was rogered three times in a hansom.
 	When she cried out for more
 	A voice from the floor
@@ -3787,7 +3497,7 @@ And God! how I wish it were me.
 There was a young lady of Dee
 Whose hymen was split into three.
 	And when she was diddled
-	The middle string fiddled :
+	The middle string fiddled:
 "Nearer My God To Thee."
 %
 There was a young lady of Dexter
@@ -3910,12 +3620,6 @@ Said to her beau, "I've a feeling
 	Has need of a plug" --
 And straightaway she started to peeling.
 %
-There was a young lady of Wheeling
-Who professed to lack sexual feeling.
-	But a cynic named Boris
-	Just touched her clitoris,
-And she had to be scraped off the ceiling.
-%
 There was a young lady who said,
 As her bridegroom got into the bed,
 	"I'm tired of this stunt,
@@ -3964,12 +3668,6 @@ Who was screwing his girl on the stair.
 	So he doubled his stroke
 And finished her off in mid-air.
 %
-There was a young man from Bengal
-Who claimed he had only one ball,
-	But two little bitches
-	Pulled down this man's breeches
-And proved he had nothing at all.
-%
 There was a young man from Biloxi
 Whose bowels responded to Moxie.
 	Drinking glass after glass,
@@ -3982,12 +3680,6 @@ Who fashioned a cunt out of clay
 	Turned it into a brick
 And rubbed all his foreskin away.
 %
-There was a young man from Boston
-Who rode around in an Austin.
-	There was room for his ass
-	And a gallon of gas,
-But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.
-%
 There was a young man from Calcutta
 Who was heard in his beard to mutter,
 	"If her Bartholin glands
@@ -4169,12 +3861,6 @@ Whose balls got caught in a socket.
 	So she threw the switch,
 And Crockett went off like a rocket.
 %
-There was a young man named Crockett
-Whose balls got caught in a socket.
-	His wife was a bitch,
-	Yeah, she threw the switch,
-And Crockett went off like a rocket.
-%
 There was a young man named Hughes
 Who swore off all kinds of booze.
 	He said, "When I'm muddled
@@ -4187,18 +3873,6 @@ Who had warts all over his root.
 	And now when he pees,
 He fingers the thing like a flute.
 %
-There was a young man named Laplace
-Whose balls were made out of spun glass.
-	When they banged together
-	They played "Stormy Weather"
-And lightning shot out of his ass.
-%
-There was a young man named McNamiter
-With a tool of prodigious diameter.
-	But it wasn't the size
-	Gave the girls a surprise,
-But his rythm -- iambic pentameter.
-%
 There was a young man named Rex
 Who really was small for his sex.
 	When tried for exposure
@@ -4277,12 +3951,6 @@ Whose cock reached up to the ceiling.
 	He'd put it and rock it--
 Oh God!  What a wonderful feeling!
 %
-There was a young man of Devizes
-Whose balls were of different sizes.
-	His tool when at ease,
-	Hung down to his knees,
-Oh, what must it be when it rises!
-%
 There was a young man of Devizes,
 Whose balls were of different sizes.
 	One was so small,
@@ -4295,12 +3963,6 @@ Who said to his girl, "If you please,
 	If, while playing with this,
 You would pay some attention to these!"
 %
-There was a young man of Greenwich
-Whose balls were all covered with spinach.
-	So long was his tool
-	That it wound round a spool,
-And he let it out inach by inach.
-%
 There was a young man of high station
 Who was found by a pious relation
 	Making love in a ditch
@@ -4319,12 +3981,6 @@ Who lured a poor girl to her doom.
 	But buggered and sucked her--
 And left her to pay for the room.
 %
-There was a young man of Kildare
-Who was fucking a girl on the stair.
-	The bannister broke,
-	But he doubled his stroke
-And finished her off in mid-air.
-%
 There was a young man of Kutki
 Who could blink himself off with one eye.
 	For a while though, he pined,
@@ -4573,12 +4229,6 @@ Who had verses tattooed on her tail,
 	For the sake of the blind,
 A duplicate version in Braille.
 %
-There was a young whore from Kaloo
-Who filled her vagina with glue.
-	She said with a grin,
-	"If they pay to get in,
-They can pay to get out again too!"
-%
 There was a young woman called Pearl
 Who quite resembled a churl;
 	When she asked a young man named Tex
@@ -4726,12 +4376,6 @@ Who in her old age got religion.
 	 Said she, "I'll take on
 The Father, the Son, and the Pigeon."
 %
-There was an old hermit named Dave
-Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
-	He said "I'll admit
-	I'm a bit of a shit,
-But look at the money I save."
-%
 There was an old lady of Bingly
 Who wailed, "I do hate to sleep singly.
 	I thought I had got
@@ -4768,12 +4412,6 @@ Who liked to do tricks in the hall.
 	Was to stand on his dick
 While he rolled around on one ball.
 %
-There was an old man from Duluth
-Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
-	He fucked with his nose
-	Or his fingers and toes
-And he came thru a hole in his tooth.
-%
 There was an old man from Fort Drum
 Whose son was incredibly dumb.
 	When he urged him ahead,
@@ -4829,12 +4467,6 @@ Who never did anything wrong.
 And secretly finger his dong.
 %
 There was an old man of St. Bees,
-Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
-	When asked, "Does it hurt?"
-	He relied, "No, it doesn't.
-I'm so glad that it wasn't a hornet."
-%
-There was an old man of St. Bees,
 Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
 	When asked, "Does it hurt?"
 	He relied, "No, it doesn't.
@@ -4853,12 +4485,6 @@ Who frigged himself into a fountain
 	Still he wasn't content,
 He simply got tired of the counting.
 %
-There was an old man of the port
-Whose prick was remarkably short.
-	When he got into bed,
-	The old woman said,
-"That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"
-%
 There was an old man who said, "Tush!
 My balls always hang in the brush,
 	And I fumble about,
@@ -4919,12 +4545,6 @@ Whose best tool was a sturdy gut-wrench.
 	He could reach, in a trice,
 The innermost parts of a wench.
 %
-There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel
-Who said, "They can all go to hell!
-	What they do to my wife--
-	Why it ruins my life;
-And the worst is, they all do it well.
-%
 There were three ladies of Huxham,
 And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em,
 	And when that game grows stale
@@ -5073,24 +4693,18 @@ Your cunt is as big as a dish!"
 	With your limp little tool
 It's like driving a nail with a fish!"
 %
-To his bride said a numskull named Clarence :
+To his bride said a numskull named Clarence:
 "I trust you will show some forbearance.
 	My sexual habits
 	I picked up from rabbits,
 And occasionally watching my parents."
 %
-To his bride said economist Fife :
+To his bride said economist Fife:
 "The semen you'll launch as my wife,
 	We will salvage and freeze
 	To resemble goat's cheese,
 And slice for hors d'oeuvres with a knife."
 %
-To his bride said the keen-eyed detective,
-"Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
-	Has the east tit the least bit
-	The best of the west tit,
-Or is it the faulty perspective?"
-%
 To his bride, said the sharp eyed detective,
 "Can it be that my eyesight's defective?
 	Is your east tit the least bit
@@ -5153,7 +4767,7 @@ Dispar modus testicularum:
 Jam fecerat altera clarum.
 %
 We dedicate this to the cunt,
-The kind the broad-minded guys hunt :
+The kind the broad-minded guys hunt:
 	All hail to the twat,
 	Willing, thrilling, and hot,
 That wears peckers down, limp and blunt!
@@ -5239,7 +4853,7 @@ To a guard he cried, "Hey, man, you're cute.
 And then I shall blow on your flute."
 %
 You've heard of the bishop of Birmingham,
-Well, here's the new story concerning 'im :
+Well, here's the new story concerning 'im:
 	He buggers the choir
 	As they sing "Ave Maria,"
 And fucks all the girls whilst confirming 'em.