From 76ddc8179bc35ea8007974fb10044e8b01fd11ee Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Kris Kennaway Date: Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:08:34 +0000 Subject: [PATCH] Add some more random offensive quotes. --- games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real | 26 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 26 insertions(+) diff --git a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real index 94a7fd984c30..63cb988419c5 100644 --- a/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real +++ b/games/fortune/datfiles/fortunes-o.real @@ -213,6 +213,9 @@ Through Swimsuits Issue. out of Heaven as long as they still need him as a fourth for bridge. -- Letter in NEW LIBERTARIAN NOTES #19 % +"Are pirates an ethnic group? Or are they just people who burn illegal cds?" +"Arrrr! We prefer to be called Buccaneer-Americans." +% A bather whose clothing was strewed By breezes that left her quite nude, Saw a man come along @@ -365,6 +368,11 @@ America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. -- Arnold Joseph Toynbee % +"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say ``elevator'', +we say ``lift'' ... they say ``President'', we say ``stupid psychopathic +git.''" + -- Alexei Sayle +% An architect fellow named Yoric Could, when feeling euphoric, Display for selection @@ -462,6 +470,10 @@ Know-How reloaded the brassiere with tits, every heterosexual male in the country was hopelessly trapped. -- Alan Sherman, "The Rape of the A*P*E*" % +"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, +and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." + -- Terry Pratchett +% "California is proud to be the home of the freeway." -- Ronald Reagan % @@ -1044,6 +1056,9 @@ There were only two boobs and he had 'em. Incest, n.: Sibling revelry. % +Isn't it odd that people who object to "foul" language are always the +fucking dickheads that need swearing at? +% "Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'" -- Joel M. Snyder, jms@mis.arizona.edu @@ -1159,6 +1174,11 @@ Nothing is better than Sex. Masturbation is better than nothing. Therefore, Masturbation is better than Sex. % +Nothing ruins the mood more during foreplay than the image of your +65-year old home room teacher trying to stretch a condom over a +cucumber. + -- Dennis Miller +% Nuke the gay, unborn, baby whales for Jesus. % Obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers. @@ -1636,6 +1656,12 @@ Is a relative!" Einstein asserted. % Save Soviet Jewry -- Win Valuable Prizes!!!! % +Secrets to a happy marriage + 1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans. + 2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money. + 3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex. + 4. It is important that these three women never meet your wife. +% Sex is like a bridge game -- If you have a good hand no partner is needed. %