Remove more duplicates
Minor reformatting on a few
This commit is contained in:
parent
b4ebb02af5
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Notes:
svn2git
2020-12-20 02:59:44 +00:00
svn path=/head/; revision=201601
@ -1702,14 +1702,6 @@ the Cat.
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"I don't care much where--" said Alice.
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"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.
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-- Lewis Carroll
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%
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COMMENT
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Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
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A medley of extemporanea;
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And love is thing that can never go wrong;
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And I am Marie of Roumania.
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-- Dorothy Parker
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%
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Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermont noted
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in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more
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@ -1929,22 +1921,6 @@ Christmas tree. The piano is missing.
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You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless
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you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level
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4. The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
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%
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FIGHTING WORDS
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Say my love is easy had,
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Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
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Say I am too often sad --
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Still behold me at your side.
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Say I'm neither brave nor young,
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Say I woo and coddle care,
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Say the devil touched my tongue --
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Still you have my heart to wear.
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But say my verses do not scan,
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And I get me another man!
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-- Dorothy Parker
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%
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"For I perceive that behind this seemingly unrelated sequence
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of events, there lurks a singular, sinister attitude of mind."
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@ -2216,20 +2192,6 @@ full of money before."
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"Ran over a bottle."
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"Didn't you see it?"
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"Damn kid had it under his coat."
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%
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Hug O' War
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I will not play at tug o' war.
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I'd rather play at hug o' war,
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Where everyone hugs
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Instead of tugs,
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Where everyone giggles
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And rolls on the rug,
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Where everyone kisses,
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And everyone grins,
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And everyone cuddles,
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And everyone wins.
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-- Shel Silverstein
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%
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Human thinking can skip over a great deal, leap over small
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misunderstandings, can contain ifs and buts in untroubled corners of
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@ -2683,33 +2645,6 @@ right any day."
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"Pity," said Arthur with sympathy. "It sounded like quite a good
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life-style otherwise."
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-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
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%
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Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
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what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
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may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if
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not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible
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benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body,
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I ask this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be,
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in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my
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capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may
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not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
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receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and
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which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
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Amen.
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-- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness", 1969
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%
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INVENTORY
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Four be the things I am wiser to know:
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Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
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Four be the things I'd been better without:
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Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
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Three be the things I shall never attain:
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Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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Three be the things I shall have till I die:
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Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.
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%
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"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
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"To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time."
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@ -3989,28 +3924,6 @@ The center is very pleased with progress to date. They say they have
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almost succeeded in getting a VAX to think. However, sources inside the
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organization say that each time the machine fails to think it ceases to
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exist.
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%
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THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #5: VALGOL
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From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando Valley,
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VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the industry.
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Here is a sample program:
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LIKE, Y*KNOW(I MEAN)START
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IF PIZZA = LIKE BITCHEN AND GUY = LIKE TUBULAR AND
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VALLEY GIRL = LIKE GRODY**MAX(FERSURE)**2 THEN
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FOR I = LIKE 1 TO OH*MAYBE 100
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DO*WAH - (DITTY**2)
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BARF(I)=TOTALLY GROSS(OUT)
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SURE
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LIKE BAG THIS PROGRAM
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REALLY
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LIKE TOTALLY (Y*KNOW)
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IM*SURE
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GOTO THE MALL
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When the user makes a syntax error, the interpreter displays the message:
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GAG ME WITH A SPOON!!
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%
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THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #8: LAIDBACK
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@ -5342,9 +5255,6 @@ that he didn't force you down on the asking price.
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-- A plethora of individuals wither expertise in culinary techniques vitiated
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the potable concoction produced by steeping certain coupestibles.
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-- Eleemosynary deeds have their initial incidence intramurally.
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-- Male cadavers are incapable of yielding testimony.
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-- Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be well
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advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.
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%
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=============== ALL FRESHMEN PLEASE NOTE ===============
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@ -11083,9 +10993,6 @@ Armstrong's Collection Law:
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If the check is truly in the mail,
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it is surely made out to someone else.
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%
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Arnold's Addendum:
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Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.
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%
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Arnold's Laws of Documentation:
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1.) If it should exist, it doesn't.
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2.) If it does exist, it's out of date.
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@ -12661,7 +12568,7 @@ Boren's Laws:
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(2) When in trouble, delegate.
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(3) When in doubt, mumble.
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%
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boss, n:
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Boss, n:
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According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the
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words "boss" and "botch" were largely synonymous, except that boss,
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in addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an
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@ -12942,7 +12849,7 @@ wrote the program.
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Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.
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-- Ray Simard
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%
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bug, n:
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Bug, n:
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An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect.
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The activity of "debugging", or removing bugs from a program, ends
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when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.
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@ -13531,14 +13438,14 @@ only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the
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others who have tried it.
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-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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%
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Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the
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most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of
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Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which
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reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order, the expression
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nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would
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but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts (unground) (other than ground
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nuts) by reason of their being nuts (unground)."
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Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and
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the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court
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of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate
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which reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground nuts) Order,
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the expression nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground
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nuts, as would but for this amending Order not qualify as nuts
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(unground) (other than ground nuts) by reason of their being nuts
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(unground)."
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-- Guinness Book of World Records, 1973
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%
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Certainly the game is rigged.
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@ -15064,17 +14971,6 @@ letter, or even 25 cents on a stamp!
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so post it as many places as you can.
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-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
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%
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Dear Sir,
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I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or
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to the office. We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in public
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places. They are a disgusting Americanism, and can only result in the farmers
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being forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn will cause massive un-
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employment in the already severely depressed agricultural industry.
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Yours faithfully,
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Capt. Quinton D'Arcy, J.P.
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Sevenoaks
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-- Letters To The Editor, The Times of London
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%
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Death before dishonor.
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But neither before breakfast.
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%
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@ -17844,9 +17740,6 @@ Finagle's Eleventh Law:
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No matter what occurs, someone believes
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it happened according to his pet theory.
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%
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Finagle's First Law:
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If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
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%
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Finagle's First Law:
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To study a subject best, understand it thoroughly before you start.
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@ -18180,9 +18073,6 @@ For children with short attention spans: boomerangs that don't come back.
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For courage mounteth with occasion.
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-- William Shakespeare, "King John"
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%
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
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-- Harrison
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%
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For every bloke who makes his mark,
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there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.
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-- Andy Capp
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@ -19527,17 +19417,6 @@ Your butt is on the menu
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And the check is in the mail.
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-- The Piranha Club Anthem, to the tune of "De Camptown Races"
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%
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From the "Guinness Book of World Records", 1973:
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Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and
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the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the
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Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his
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candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground), (other than ground
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nuts) Order, the expression nuts shall have reference to such nuts,
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other than ground nuts, as would but for this amending Order not
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qualify as nuts (unground)(other than ground nuts) by reason of their
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being nuts (unground)."
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%
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From the moment I picked your book up until I put it down I was
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convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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-- Groucho Marx, from "The Book of Insults"
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@ -24042,21 +23921,6 @@ I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
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I met a wonderful new man. He's fictional, but you can't have everything.
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-- Cecelia, "The Purple Rose of Cairo"
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%
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I met him in a swamp down in Dagobah
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Where it bubbles all the time like a giant cabinet soda
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S-O-D-A soda
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I saw the little runt sitting there on a log
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I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said Yoda
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Y-O-D-A Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
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Well I've been around but I ain't never seen
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A guy who looks like a Muppet but he's wrinkled and green
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Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
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Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
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How he can raise me in the air just by raising his hand
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Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda
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-- The STAR WARS Song, to "Lola", by the Kinks
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%
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I met my latest girl friend in a department store. She was looking at
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clothes, and I was putting Slinkys on the escalators.
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-- Steven Wright
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@ -24531,10 +24395,6 @@ are worth considering, to wit:
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"When paying tolls, remember that it is necessary to release the
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quarter a full 3 seconds before passing the basket if you are
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traveling more than 60 MPH."
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[110.13]:
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"When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not
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to interfere with oncoming traffic."
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%
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I suppose some of the variation between Boston drivers and the rest of the
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country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
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@ -24627,12 +24487,6 @@ But only Schlitz can make a beer.
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I think that I shall never see
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A billboard lovely as a tree.
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Indeed, unless the billboards fall
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I'll never see a tree at all.
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-- Nash
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%
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I think that I shall never see
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A billboard lovely as a tree.
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Perhaps, unless the billboards fall
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I'll never see a tree at all.
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-- Ogden Nash
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%
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@ -25899,21 +25753,6 @@ this is the case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and
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software engineers dig each other's graves.
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-- Unknown
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%
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If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the
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shoulders of giants.
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-- Isaac Newton
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In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side
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with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
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-- Gerald Holton
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If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing
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on my shoulders.
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-- Hal Abelson
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In computer science, we stand on each other's feet.
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-- Brian K. Reid
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%
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If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
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-- Bob Hope
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%
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@ -37641,7 +37480,7 @@ Pardo's First Postulate:
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fattening.
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Arnold's Addendum:
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Everything else causes cancer in rats.
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Anything not fitting into these categories causes cancer in rats.
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%
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Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they
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didn't have much of anything to do with it.
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@ -39438,10 +39277,6 @@ A: A dope ring.
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Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
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A: To cover up the valve stem.
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Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
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puzzle in only 6 months?
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A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years".
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%
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Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
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A: Diyathinkhesaurus.
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@ -41474,25 +41309,6 @@ Spock: Affirmative.
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Kirk: Mr. Sulu, go to pass two.
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Sulu: Aye aye, sir, going to pass two.
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%
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Scratch the disks, dump the core, Shut it down, pull the plug
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Roll the tapes across the floor, Give the core an extra tug
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And the system is going to crash. And the system is going to crash.
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Teletypes smashed to bits. Mem'ry cards, one and all,
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Give the scopes some nasty hits Toss out halfway down the hall
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And the system is going to crash. And the system is going to crash.
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And we've also found Just flip one switch
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When you turn the power down, And the lights will cease to twitch
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You turn the disk readers into trash. And the tape drives will crumble
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Oh, it's so much fun, in a flash.
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Now the CPU won't run When the CPU
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And the system is going to crash. Can print nothing out but "foo,"
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The system is going to crash.
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-- To The Caissons Go Rolling Along
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%
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Scratch the disks!
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Drop the core!
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Roll the tapes across the floor!
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%
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Screw up your courage! You've screwed up everything else.
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%
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Scribline, n.:
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@ -46676,7 +46492,8 @@ often turn to a related (but infinitely faster) language, COCAINE.
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%
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THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #14 -- VALGOL
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VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the
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From its modest beginnings in Southern California's San Fernando
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Valley VALGOL is enjoying a dramatic surge of popularity across the
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industry. VALGOL commands include REALLY, LIKE, WELL, and Y*KNOW.
|
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Variables are assigned with the =LIKE and =TOTALLY operators. Other
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operators include the "California booleans", AX and NOWAY. Loops are
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@ -48383,9 +48200,6 @@ and peculiar sort of voluntary thinking.
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The solution of this problem is trivial
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and is left as an exercise for the reader.
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%
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The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
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-- Peer
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%
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The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
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his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
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sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
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@ -52054,7 +51868,7 @@ yourself and that which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving
|
||||
as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
|
||||
in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
|
||||
Amen.
|
||||
-- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness"
|
||||
-- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness", 1969
|
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%
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To understand a program you must become both the machine and the program.
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%
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@ -56803,22 +56617,6 @@ I'd LOVE to, but...
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-- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
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-- My crayons all melted together.
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%
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Why I Can't Go Out With You:
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I'd LOVE to, but ...
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-- I have to floss my cat.
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-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
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-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
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-- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
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-- it's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish.
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-- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
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-- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
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-- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
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-- I have an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
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-- I have some really hard words to look up.
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-- I've got a Friends of the Lowly Rutabaga meeting.
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-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
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%
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Why is it called a funny bone when it hurts so much?
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%
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Why is it taking so long for her to bring out all the good in you?
|
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@ -57873,9 +57671,6 @@ a private eye.
|
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Yeah, there are more important things in life than money,
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but they won't go out with you if you don't have any.
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%
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YEAR:
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A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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%
|
||||
Year Name James Bond Book
|
||||
---- -------------------------------- -------------- ----
|
||||
50's James Bond TV Series Barry Nelson
|
||||
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