Fix typos
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svn2git
2020-12-20 02:59:44 +00:00
svn path=/head/; revision=112414
@ -1221,7 +1221,7 @@ Catholic girls fuck like bunnies."
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Joan, the rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of
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her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit
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the frist day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her
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the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her
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way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly
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begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her
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stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
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@ -1378,10 +1378,9 @@ his current flow, it caused her shunt to overheat, and Micro-Farad was rapidly
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discharged and drained of every electron. They Fluxed all night trying
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various connections and sockets until his magnet had a soft core and lost
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all of its field strength.
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Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her
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solenoids. With his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to
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excite his field, so they spent the night reversing polarity and blowing
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each others fuses.
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Afterwards, Milli-Amp tried self-induction and damaged her solenoids.
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With his battery fully discharged, Micro-Farad was unable to excite his field,
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so they spent the night reversing polarity and blowing each others fuses.
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-- Eddie Currents, "The Sex Life of an Electron"
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%
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One of my favorite Zoo jokes has to do with a woman who, while
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@ -2863,7 +2862,7 @@ Wished to foster an aura of menace.
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And white footgear intended for tennis.
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-- Edward Gorey, "Amphigorey"
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A drunk was sitting at the end of the bar in a popular single's place,
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A drunk was sitting at the end of the bar in a popular singles' place,
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watching a young, good-looking man working his way through the women. The
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guy didn't appear to be having much luck, and he was only spending a few
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moments with each woman. As he worked his way closer, while he couldn't
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@ -3508,7 +3507,7 @@ by the propensity to be sexually aroused by the sight of males.
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A nuclear family is out golfing one day, when it becomes clear that Dad isn't
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going to win any trophies, at least on this course. On the 3rd hole, after
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two miserable bogies, he misses a two foot putt and exclaims, "Shit!"
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two miserable bogies, he misses a two foot put and exclaims, "Shit!"
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His wife glances over at their sixteen year old daughter and says
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nothing.
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On the fourth hole Dad tees off with an incredible hook, and, after
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@ -4204,7 +4203,7 @@ must go to the same assay-room and be subjected to common tests. It is the
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essence of all dogmatic faiths to hold that any such "show-down" is
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sacrilegious and perverse. The characteristic of religion, from their point
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of view, is that it is intellectually secret, not public; peculiarly revealed,
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not generall known; authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested
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not generally known; authoritatively declared, not communicated and tested
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in ordinary ways...It is pertinent to point out that, as long as religion
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is conceived as it is now by the great majority of professed religionists,
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there is something self-contradictory in speaking of education in religion
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@ -5358,7 +5357,7 @@ Cunnilingus is next to cleanliness.
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Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.
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Dad," the 13-year-old boy asked, looking up from his social-studies text,
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"Dad," the 13-year-old boy asked, looking up from his social-studies text,
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"what did you do during the sexual revolution?"
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"Well, son," his father confided, "I guess you could say I was
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captured early and spent the duration doing the dishes."
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@ -8328,7 +8327,7 @@ Infatuation, n:
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When you're in love, there's a lump in your throat.
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When you're infatuated, there's a lump in your pants.
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Inspite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe
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In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe
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is composed of only two basic substances: magic and bullshit.
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====================
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@ -9340,7 +9339,7 @@ the passengers who were injured.
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"You say," thundered the counsel for the railroad, "that you saw
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the two trains crash head on while doing sixty miles an hour. What did you
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think when you saw this happen ?"
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I thought," replied the Irishman, "this is one *helluva* way to run
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"I thought," replied the Irishman, "this is one *helluva* way to run
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a railroad."
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%
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Me father makes book on the corner,
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@ -9423,7 +9422,7 @@ billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what is even more
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interesting, the ones on the outside are all dying! This is a fact. Your
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skin is like an aggressive modern corporation, where the older veteran cells,
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who have finally worked their way to the top and obtained offices with nice
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views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so
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views, are constantly being shoved out the window head first, without so
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much as a pension plan, by younger hotshot cells moving up from below.
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-- Dave Barry
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@ -9795,7 +9794,7 @@ of God. The argument follows: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God,
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by chance, thus proving that you exist, therefore by your own arguments,
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you don't. QED." "Oh, dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and
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promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
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-- D. Adams
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-- Douglas Adams
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Now what would they do if I just sailed away?
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Who the hell really compelled me to leave today?
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@ -12737,7 +12736,7 @@ absolutely wild!"
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The husband wired home that he had been able to wind up his business trip a
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day early and would be home on Thursday. When he walked into his apartment,
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however, he found his wife in bed with another man. Furious,he picked up his
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however, he found his wife in bed with another man. Furious, he picked up his
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bag and stormed out. He met his mother-in-law on the street, told her what
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had happened and announced that he was filing for divorce in the morning.
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"Give my daughter a chance to explain before you take any action,"
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@ -13900,7 +13899,7 @@ my husband Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know it's
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going to be a great day. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know
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it might rain. I don't know why it works, but he's never been wrong!"
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"Laurie, what if he has an erection?" asks the other woman.
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"Honey, on a day like *that*, you don't do the *laundry."
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"Honey, on a day like *that*, you don't do the *laundry*."
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%
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Three young women were attending the same logic class given at one of the
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better universities. During a lecture the professor stated that he was
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