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Remove duplicate fortunes and fix some typos.

Browse Source 
PR:            misc/45839
Submitted by:  Philipp Mergenthaler
               <philipp.mergenthaler@stud.uni-karlsruhe.de>
This commit is contained in:
Lukas Ertl 2004-07-20 08:19:51 +00:00
parent 91540c5b62
commit efd0e5f49e
1 changed files with 9 additions and 396 deletions
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@ -841,18 +841,6 @@ mysterious setting?"
The master dropped the device to the ground and crushed it under foot.
And suddenly the novice was enlightened.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
%
A master was explaining the nature of Tao to one of his novices.
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant,"
said the master.
"Is the Tao in a hand-held calculator?" asked the novice.
"It is," came the reply.
"Is the Tao in a video game?" continued the novice.
"It is even in a video game," said the master.
"And is the Tao in the DOS for a personal computer?"
The master coughed and shifted his position slightly. "The lesson
is over for today.", he said.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
%
A master was explaining the nature of the Tao to one of his novices,
"The Tao is embodied in all software -- regardless of how insignificant,"
@ -1113,7 +1101,7 @@ secrets... so naturally British electronics leak smoke.
-- Jack Banton, PCC Automotive Electrical School
%
A shy teenage boy finally worked up the nerve to give a gift to
Maddona, a young puppy. It hitched its waggin' to a star.
Madonna, a young puppy. It hitched its waggin' to a star.
A girl spent a couple hours on the phone talking to her two best
friends, Maureen Jones, and Maureen Brown. When asked by her father why she
had been on the phone so long, she responded "I heard a funny story today
@ -1879,19 +1867,6 @@ on the safe side."
"Quite right. You don't want to come back from Sorrento
to a dead cat, do you?"
-- Monty Python
%
Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month.
According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing
severe marketing anxiety in China.
The words "Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either (depending
on the inflection) "wax-fattened mare" or "bite the wax tadpole".
Bite the wax tadpole.
There is a sort of rough justice, is there not?
The trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it's hard
to get a whole column out of it. I'd like to teach the world to bite a wax
tadpole. Coke -- it's the real wax-fattened mare. Not bad, but broad
satiric vistas do not open up.
-- John Carrol, The San Francisco Chronicle
%
Here is the problem: for many years, the Supreme Court wrestled
with the issue of pornography, until finally Associate Justice John
@ -2346,6 +2321,7 @@ not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and
which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen.
-- Roger Zelazny, "Creatures of Light and Darkness", 1969
%
It appears that after his death, Albert Einstein found himself
working as the doorkeeper at the Pearly Gates. One slow day, he
@ -3525,24 +3501,6 @@ is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn."
-- T. H. White, "The Once and Future King"
%
The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just
say it's pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive
African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have
to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: "N'wam
k'honi soit qui mali," which means, "If you think you can catch a wildebeest
in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach
front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be
interested in."
So it's not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes
color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding
one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever.
But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled "The Girls
of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked," some
people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others,
such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing
the wildebeest naked.
-- Dave Barry, "Pornography"
%
The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can't just
say it's pictures of people naked. For example, you have these
primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot,
and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal
@ -4083,25 +4041,6 @@ against a wall, and this was inscribed on the floor:
Proof: assume the opposite...
%
There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the
warlord of Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design:
an accounting package or an operating system?"
"An operating system," replied the programmer.
The warlord uttered an exclamation of disbelief. "Surely an
accounting package is trivial next to the complexity of an operating
system," he said.
"Not so," said the programmer, "when designing an accounting package,
the programmer operates as a mediator between people having different ideas:
how it must operate, how its reports must appear, and how it must conform to
the tax laws. By contrast, an operating system is not limited my outside
appearances. When designing an operating system, the programmer seeks the
simplest harmony between machine and ideas. This is why an operating system
is easier to design."
The warlord of Wu nodded and smiled. "That is all good and well, but
which is easier to debug?"
The programmer made no reply.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
%
There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the
warlord Wu. The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design:
an accounting package or an operating system?"
"An operating system," replied the programmer.
@ -7876,8 +7815,6 @@ will be up to. Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant. So says
the statistician."
-- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four"
%
A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
%
A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.
-- O'Henry
%
@ -8358,11 +8295,6 @@ ACCEPTANCE TESTING:
An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
%
Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western
religion. Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic
of Western science.
-- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
%
Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western
religion; rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of
Western science.
-- Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
@ -8422,12 +8354,6 @@ According to the latest official figures,
%
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
beat up their city anytime.
-- David Letterman
%
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in
America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth.
Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could
beat up their city anytime.
-- David Letterman
@ -8499,15 +8425,6 @@ ADA:
an ADA awareness.
-- "Datamation", January 15, 1984
%
ADA:
Something you need to know the name of to be an Expert in Computing.
Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop an ADA awareness."
%
ADA, n.:
Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in
Computing. Useful in sentences like, "We had better develop an ADA
awareness."
%
Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
-- Ovid
@ -8894,12 +8811,6 @@ Alden's Laws:
(2) Always be backlit.
(3) Sit down whenever possible.
%
Alden's Laws:
1: Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause
of pregnancy.
2: Always be backlit.
3: Sit down whenever possible.
%
Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
Aleph-null bottles of beer,
You take one down, and pass it around,
@ -8917,8 +8828,6 @@ the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
-- Philippe Schnoebelen
%
Algebraic symbols are used when you don't know what you're talking about.
%
Algol-60 surely must be regarded as the most
important programming language yet developed.
-- T. Cheatham
@ -9772,12 +9681,6 @@ That others may know
The grateful dead.
-- Tibetan "Book of the Dead," ca. 4000 BC.
%
And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest
unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine
bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,
provideth that they are nice and fresh.'
-- Dave Barry
%
And Bezel saideth unto Sham: "Sham," he saideth, "Thou shalt goest
unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine
bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits,
@ -10519,9 +10422,6 @@ Are you making all this up as you go along?
Are you sure the back door is locked?
%
"Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?"
"No, Ma'am. Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
%
"Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?"
No, Ma'am. Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
-- Monty Python
%
@ -10665,21 +10565,11 @@ disgusting person are you," these letters typically ask, "that you make
jokes about setting fire to a goat?"
-- Dave Barry
%
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and I
thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-- M. Cartmill
%
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a scientist.
This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-- Matt Cartmill
%
As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty,
and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -- so I became a
scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you can meet girls.
-- M. Cartmill
%
As an Englishman, an Aussie and a Scotsman are sitting in a pub, quaffing
a few, three flies buzz down from the ceiling and lazily circle each drinker.
Suddenly "buzzzzzzzzplooop", each fly does a kamakazi dive into a different
@ -15870,9 +15760,6 @@ Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling
just a bit unchivalrous...
-- Robert Benchley
%
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
-- Kehlog Albran
%
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
%
@ -16288,13 +16175,6 @@ There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no
straight lines.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller
%
Everything you've learned in school as "obvious" becomes less and less
obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no
solids in the universe. There's not even a suggestion of a solid. There
are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no
straight lines.
-- R. Buckminster Fuller
%
Everything's great in this good old world;
(This is the stuff they can always use.)
God's in his heaven, the hill's dew-pearled;
@ -18228,18 +18108,10 @@ Function reject.
%
Fundamentally, there may be no basis for anything.
%
FURBLING:
Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
even when you are the only person in line.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
%
furbling, v:
Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
even when you are the only person in line.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-- H. H. Williams
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
%
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
-- H. H. Williams
@ -18297,11 +18169,6 @@ GEMINI (May 21 to Jun. 20)
and respect from those around you; everybody loves a sucker. A short
trip is in the stars, possibly to the men's room.
%
GENDERPLEX:
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
determine his or her designated restroom (e.g. turtles and tortoises).
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
%
genderplex, n:
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and
@ -19264,10 +19131,6 @@ Hacker's Guide To Cooking:
for 3.6E6 milliseconds while you work on cleaning up stderr, and
by time out your cheesecake will be ready for stdin.
%
Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir
a nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
%
Hacker's Law:
The belief that enhanced understanding will necessarily stir a
nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
@ -19388,10 +19251,6 @@ Hanson's Treatment of Time:
There are never enough hours in a day,
but always too many days before Saturday.
%
Hanson's Treatment of Time:
There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days
before Saturday.
%
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
%
Happiness is a hard disk.
@ -19440,9 +19299,6 @@ Hard work may not kill you, but why take the chance?
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
-- Charlie McCarthy
%
Hardware:
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
%
Hardware met Software on the road to Changtse. Software said: "You are Yin
and I am Yang. If we travel together we will become famous and earn vast
sums of money." And so the set forth together, thinking to conquer the world.
@ -23780,11 +23636,6 @@ idiot box, n:
the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
%
idiot box, n:
The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
idiot, n:
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence
in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
@ -28795,9 +28646,6 @@ Knucklehead: "I didn't know you could yodel"
Kramer's Law:
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
%
Kramer's Law:
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
%
KROGT:
(chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic silver coating found
on fast-food game cards.
@ -29300,14 +29148,6 @@ Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted. In every
relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive. If you
really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end.
For the first time, I found that I really could change, and the qualities
I most admired in myself I gave up. I stopped being loud and bossy ...
Oh, all right. I was still loud and bossy, but only behind his back.
-- Kate Hepburn, on Tracy and Hepburn
%
Let's just say that where a change was required, I adjusted. In every
relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive. If you
really care about the person, you do what's necessary, or that's the end.
For the first time, I found that I really could change, and the qualities
I most admired in myself I gave up. I stopped being loud and bossy...
Oh, all right. I was still loud and bossy, but only behind his back."
-- Kate Hepburn, on Tracy and Hepburn
@ -29390,9 +29230,6 @@ LIE:
Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
%
Lieberman's Law:
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, cuz nobody listens.
%
Lies! All lies! You're all lying against my boys!
-- Ma Barker
%
@ -29877,22 +29714,6 @@ Do all the things YOU want to do?
Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau
%
Lobster:
Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are
squeamish about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only
proper method of preparing them. Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're cooked.
The fact is, lobsters are among the most ferocious predators on the sea
floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs. Grasp the lobster
behind the head, look it right in its unmistakably guilty eyestalks and say,
"Where were you on the night of the 21st?", then flourish a picture of a
scallop or a sole and shout, "Perhaps this will refresh that crude neural
apparatus you call a memory!" The lobster will squirm noticeably. It may
even take a swipe at you with one of its claws. Incorrigible. Pop it into
the pot. Justice has been served, and shortly you and your friends will
be, too.
-- Dave Barry
%
Lobster:
Everyone loves these delectable crustaceans, but many cooks are squeamish
about placing them into boiling water alive, which is the only proper
@ -29907,8 +29728,8 @@ Lobster:
squirm noticeably. It may even take a swipe at you with one of its claws.
Incorrigible. Pop it into the pot. Justice has been served, and shortly
you and your friends will be, too.
-- Cooking: The Art of Turning Appliances and Utensils
into Excuses and Apologies
-- Dave Barry, Cooking: The Art of Turning Appliances
and Utensils into Excuses and Apologies
%
Lockwood's Long Shot:
The chances of getting eaten up by a lion on Main Street
@ -30212,18 +30033,6 @@ Bite they little heads off,
Nibble at they tiny feet.
-- Kliban
%
Love to eat them mousies,
Mousies what I love to eat.
Bite they little heads off,
Nibble on they tiny feet.
-- Kliban
%
Love to eat them mousies;
Mousies what I love to eat.
Bite they tiny heads off,
Nibble on they tiny feet!
-- Kilban
%
Love, which is quickly kindled in a gentle heart,
seized this one for the fair form
that was taken from me-and the way of it afflicts me still.
@ -31830,15 +31639,6 @@ A thunderbolt to mix it well --
Now begin thy magic spell!
-- The Evil Queen, "Snow White"
%
Mummy dust to make me old;
To shroud my clothes, the black of night;
To age my voice, an old hag's cackle;
To whiten my hair, a scream of fright;
A blast of wind to fan my hate;
A thunderbolt to mix it well --
Now begin thy magic spell!
-- Walter Disney, "Snow White"
%
Mum's the word.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%
@ -34044,25 +33844,6 @@ Oh, I am a C programmer and I'm okay
And when it works, I shout hoo-ray
Oh, I am a C programmer and I'm okay
%
Oh, I am just a typical American boy
From a typical American town.
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
And keeping old Castro down.
And when it came my time to serve
I knew better dead than red,
But when I got to my old draft board,
Buddy this is what I said:
Sarge I'm only 18, I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse;
I got eyes like a bat and my feet are flat
And my asthma's getting worse.
Yes, think of my career and my sweetheart dear
And my poor old invalid aunt;
Besides I ain't no fool I'm going to school
And I'm working in a defense plant.
-- Phil Ochs, "Draft Dodger Rag"
%
Oh, I could while away the hours,
Smoking herbs and flowers,
Shooting up my veins,
@ -34255,11 +34036,6 @@ nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
what it does.
-- Will Rogers
%
On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only
nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
what it does.
-- The Best of Will Rogers
%
On his way back from work, a driver came upon a horrible wreck in which one
car looked exactly like his neighbor's. Stopping hurriedly on the side of
the road, he ran toward the smoldering debris.
@ -35167,17 +34943,10 @@ Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.
%
Out of the mouths of babes does often come cereal.
%
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog it's too
dark to read.
%
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too
dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
%
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too
dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
%
Over the shoulder supervision is more a
need of the manager than the programming task.
%
@ -35330,10 +35099,6 @@ Pascal:
in his grave if he knew about it.
-- Datamation, January 15, 1984
%
Pascal:
A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his
grave if he knew about it.
%
Pascal is a language for children wanting to be naughty.
-- Dr. Kasi Ananthanarayanan
%
@ -35949,7 +35714,7 @@ Please, Mother! I'd rather do it myself!
Please remain calm, it's no use both of
us being hysterical at the same time.
%
Please stand for the Nation Anthem:
Please stand for the National Anthem:
O Canada
Our home and native land
@ -37851,20 +37616,6 @@ lose your job. These economic downturns are very difficult to predict,
but sophisticated econometric modeling houses like Data Resources and
Chase Econometrics have successfully predicted 14 of the last 3 recessions.
%
Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of
Santraginus V (Oh, those Santraginean fish!)
(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the
mixture (properly iced or the benzine is lost.)
(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
(5) Over the back of a silver spoon, float a measure of
Qualactin Hypermint extract.
(6) Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve.
(7) Sprinkle Zamphuor.
(8) Add an olive.
(9) Drink... but... very carefully...
%
Recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:
(1) Take the juice from one bottle of Ol' Janx Spirit
(2) Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of
@ -38143,17 +37894,6 @@ Rhode's Law:
and infinitely so, until such time as it becomes advantageous to
assume otherwise, maybe.
%
Rhode's Law:
When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, circumstance,
or result can in no way be directly, indirectly, empirically, or circuitously
proven, derived, implied, inferred, induced, deducted, estimated, or
scientifically guessed, it will always for the purpose of convenience,
expediency, political advantage, material gain, or personal comfort, or any
combination of the above, or none of the above, be unilaterally and
unequivocally assumed, proclaimed, and adhered to as absolute truth to be
undeniably, universally, immutably, and infinitely so, until such time as
it becomes advantageous to assume otherwise, maybe.
%
Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men
should be happier than others.
-- Oscar Wilde
@ -39221,11 +38961,6 @@ aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'
bad fiction contest.
%
Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of
stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
-- Samuel Johnson
%
Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken
him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess
of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.
-- Samuel Johnson
@ -41087,16 +40822,6 @@ Tempt not a desperate man.
-- William Shakespeare, "Romeo and Juliet"
%
Ten of the meanest cons in the state pen met in the corner of the yard to
shoot some craps. The stakes were enormous, the tension palpable.
When his turn came to shoot, Dutsky nervously plunked down his
entire wad, shook the dice and rolled. A smile crossed his face as a seven
showed up, but it quickly changed to horror as a third die slipped out of
his sleeve and fell to the ground with the two others. No one said a word.
Finally, Killer Lucci picked up the third die, put it in his pocket and
handed the others to Dutsky.
"Roll 'em," Lucci said. "Your point is thirteen."
%
Ten of the meanest cons in the state pen met in the corner of the yard to
shoot some craps. The stakes were enormous, the tension palpable.
When his turn came to shoot, Dutsky nervously plunked down his
entire wad, shook the dice and rolled. A smile crossed his face as a
@ -42519,8 +42244,6 @@ and the second half by our children.
The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence,
and the second the triumph of hope over experience.
%
The first myth of management is that it exists.
%
The first requisite for immortality is death.
-- Stanislaw Lem
%
@ -42544,9 +42267,6 @@ I knit my brow and thought and thought, and in final perplexity gave up.
The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
-- H. L. Mencken
%
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Ehrlich
%
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-- Paul Erlich
%
@ -44768,14 +44488,6 @@ stable business.
%
The program isn't debugged until the last user is dead.
%
The programmers of old were mysterious and profound. We cannot fathom their
thoughts, so all we do is describe their appearance.
Aware, like a fox crossing the water. Alert, like a general on the
battlefield. Kind, like a hostess greeting her guests. Simple, like uncarved
blocks of wood. Opaque, like black pools in darkened caves.
Who can tell the secrets of their hearts and minds?
The answer exists only in the Tao.
%
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
-- Miguel de Cervantes
%
@ -46372,13 +46084,6 @@ There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life
is the process of discovering them over and over and over.
-- David Nichols
%
There are those who claim that magic is like the tide; that it swells and
fades over the surface of the earth, collecting in concentrated pools here
and there, almost disappearing from other spots, leaving them parched for
wonder. There are also those who believe that if you stick your fingers up
your nose and blow, it will increase your intelligence.
-- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VII
%
"There are those who claim that magic is like the tide; that it swells and
fades over the surface of the earth, collecting in concentrated pools here
and there, almost disappearing from other spots, leaving them parched for
@ -46694,10 +46399,7 @@ man who eats Grap-Nuts on principle.
-- G. K. Chesterton
%
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
%
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
-- Mohandis K. Gandhi
-- Mahatma Mohandis K. Gandhi
%
There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.
-- Darth Vader
@ -46718,10 +46420,6 @@ There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law.
No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.
-- Jean Giraudoux, "Tiger at the Gates"
%
There is no better way to exercise the imagination than the study of the law.
No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets the truth.
-- Jean Giradoux
%
"There is no choice before us. Either we must Succeed in providing
the rational coordination of impulses and guts, or for centuries
civilization will sink into a mere welter of minor excitements.
@ -48996,27 +48694,6 @@ All jersey were the ocean groves,
And the red bank bayonne.
-- Paul Kieffer
%
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves And as in uffish thought he stood
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame
All mimsy were the borogroves Came whuffling through the tulgey wood
And the mome raths outgrabe. And burbled as it came!
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son! One! Two! One! Two!
The jaws that bite, and through and through
the claws that catch! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack.
Beware the Jubjub bird, He left it dead, and took its head,
And shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" And went galumphing back.
He took his vorpal sword in hand "Hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Long time the manxome foe he sought. Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
So rested he by the tumtum tree Oh frabjous day! Calooh! Callay!"
And stood awhile in thought. He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogroves
-- Lewis Carroll
%
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
All mimsy were the borogroves The jaws that bite, the claws
@ -49974,12 +49651,6 @@ socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad
thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?
-- Fidel Castro
%
We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The
bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its...
Did I say socialism?
-- Fidel Castro
%
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower
%
@ -51591,10 +51262,6 @@ When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the
inattentions of one.
-- Helen Rowland
%
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions
of many men for the inattentions of one.
Helen Rowland
%
When a lion meets another with a louder roar,
the first lion thinks the last a bore.
-- George Bernard Shaw
@ -51689,9 +51356,6 @@ When among apes, one must play the ape.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
-- Mark Twain
%
When arguments fail, use a blackjack.
-- Ed "Spike" O'Donnell
%
When arguments fail, use a blackjack.
-- Edward "Spike" O'Donnell, Al Capone associate.
%
@ -52376,13 +52040,6 @@ When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.
%
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
%
When you find yourself in danger, when you're threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin'...
There is one thing you should learn,
When there is no one else to turn to,
Caaaall for Super Chicken (**bwuck-bwuck-bwuck-bwuck**)
Caaaall for Super Chicken!!
%
When you find yourself in danger,
When you're threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin'...
@ -52392,13 +52049,6 @@ When there is no one else to turn to,
Caaaall for Super Chicken!! (**bwuck-bwuck-bwuck-bwuck**)
Caaaall for Super Chicken!!
%
When you find yourself in danger,
When you're threatened by a stranger,
When it looks like you will take a lickin'...
There is one thing you should learn,
When there is no one else to turn to,
Caaaaaall for Super Chicken.
%
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself
@ -52705,14 +52355,6 @@ Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,
The Rights of Woman merit some attention.
-- Robert Burns, Address on "The Rights of Woman", 1792
%
While Europe's eye is fix'd on mighty things,
The fate of empires and the fall of kings;
While quacks of State must each produce his plan,
And even children lisp the Rights of Man;
Amid this mighty fuss just let me mention,
The Rights of Woman merit some attention.
-- Robert Burns, Address on "The Rights of Woman", 1792
%
While having never invented a sin,
I'm trying to perfect several.
%
@ -52886,11 +52528,6 @@ become a monster. And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks
into you.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also
looks into you.
-- Nietzsche
%
Whoever named it "necking" was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx
%
@ -53287,17 +52924,6 @@ your G.P.A.?"
Grinning ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about twenty-five in
the city and forty on the highway."
%
With the end of the football season, a star player on the college team was
celebrating the relaxation of his curfew by attending a late-night campus
party. Soon after arriving, he was captivated by a beautiful coed and
eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at
parties.
"Oh, I have a three point eight, so I'm much more attracted to the
strong academic types than to the dumb party animals," she said. "What's
you G.P.A.?"
Grinning from ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get at least
twenty-five in the city and forty on the highway!"
%
With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of
it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too
close. Like catching snakes.
@ -54151,11 +53777,6 @@ I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today --
I think he's from the CIA.
%
Yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I think he's from the CIA.
%
Ye've also got to remember that ... respectable people do the most
astonishin' things to preserve their respectability. Thank God
I'm not respectable.
@ -54381,11 +54002,7 @@ You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
%
You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.
-- Hepler, CS, University of Washington
%
You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.
-- Hepler, Systems Design 182
-- Hepler, Systems Design 182, University of Washington
%
You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you
know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains...
@ -54411,11 +54028,7 @@ You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.
%
You can do this in a number of ways. IBM chose to do all of them.
Why do you find that funny?
-- D. Taylor, Computer Science 350
%
You can do this in a number of ways. IBM chose to do all of them.
Why do you find that funny?
-- D. Taylor, CS, University of Washington
-- D. Taylor, Computer Science 350, University of Washington
%
You can do very well in speculation where
land or anything to do with dirt is concerned.