A few more cleanups.

This commit is contained in:
Doug Barton 2007-12-09 01:00:11 +00:00
parent ea7f7bdef3
commit 1ff1baa60e
4 changed files with 70 additions and 73 deletions

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@ -12502,7 +12502,7 @@ Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic.
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Bizoos, n.:
The millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a
basketball.
basketball.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
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Black people have never rioted. A riot is what white people think blacks
@ -12575,10 +12575,10 @@ Blinding speed can compensate for a lot of deficiencies.
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BLISS is ignorance
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blithwapping:
Blithwapping, v:
Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the
wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
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@ -12948,10 +12948,10 @@ Bumper sticker:
Bunker's Admonition:
You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.
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BURBULATION:
Burbulation, v:
The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in
an attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Bureau Termination, Law of:
When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out,
@ -13397,8 +13397,8 @@ the same can be said of dirt.
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Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun), n.:
The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then
putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it,
then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
Carson's Consolation:
@ -14277,7 +14277,7 @@ Confidant, confidante, n.:
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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Confidence is simply that quiet, assured feeling you have before you
fall flag on your face.
fall flat on your face.
-- Dr. L. Binder
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Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
@ -16549,10 +16549,10 @@ engineer.
Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.
-- Groucho Marx' last words
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ELBONICS:
Elbonics, v:
The actions of two people maneuvering for one
armrest in a movie theatre.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard and waits for a line on the screen
@ -17736,10 +17736,10 @@ Don't break the chain! Send out your ten copies today!
Female rabbits:
The gift that just "keeps on giving."
%
FENDERBERG:
Fenderberg, n.:
The large glacial deposits that form on the insides
of car fenders during snowstorms.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Ferguson's Precept:
A crisis is when you can't say "let's forget the whole thing."
@ -18007,9 +18007,9 @@ Five rules for eternal misery:
Flame on!
-- Johnny Storm
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FLANNISTER:
Flannister, n.:
The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
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Flappity, floppity, flip
The mouse on the m"obius strip;
@ -19606,7 +19606,7 @@ Function reject.
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Fundamentally, there may be no basis for anything.
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Furbling, v.:
Furbling, v:
Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
even when you are the only person in line.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -19684,7 +19684,7 @@ GEMINI (May 21 to Jun. 20)
and respect from those around you; everybody loves a sucker. A short
trip is in the stars, possibly to the men's room.
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Genderplex, n:
Genderplex, n.:
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and
tortoises).
@ -19977,9 +19977,9 @@ whose use squanders machine cycles are sinful. The LISP machine now permits
LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf.
-- Epigrams in Programming, ACM SIGPLAN Sept. 1982
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GLEEMITES:
Gleemites, n.:
Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability:
Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the
@ -20011,7 +20011,7 @@ extraction.
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Gnagloot, n.:
A person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to
impress people.
impress people.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
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Go ahead, make my day.
@ -25345,7 +25345,7 @@ Identify your visitor.
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Idiot Box, n.:
The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
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Idiot, n.:
@ -27202,7 +27202,7 @@ off with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the universe.
If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.
-- Ronald Reagan
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ignisecond, n:
Ignisecond, n.:
The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car
door even as the brain is saying, "my keys are in there!"
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -31189,7 +31189,7 @@ another number.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
@ -31198,8 +31198,9 @@ Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
-- William Shakespeare, Sonnet CXVI
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Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
%
@ -32404,7 +32405,7 @@ with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human
knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
Magnocartic, adj:
Magnocartic, adj.:
Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping
carts.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -33481,10 +33482,10 @@ Mitchell's Law of Committees:
Any simple problem can be made insoluble
if enough meetings are held to discuss it.
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mittsquinter, adj:
A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as
if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
Mittsquinter, adj.:
A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball,
as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there.
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans;
it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.
@ -34033,7 +34034,7 @@ Must I hold a candle to my shames?
Mustgo, n.:
Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so
long it has become a science project.
-- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.
-- The Dragon to Grendel, in John Gardner's "Grendel"
@ -34401,10 +34402,10 @@ GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says
will be right.
-- George Bernard Shaw, "The Man of Destiny"
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narcolepulacyi, n:
Narcolepulacyi, n.:
The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone in sight
to also yawn.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Nasrudin called at a large house to collect for charity. The servant said
"My master is out." Nasrudin replied, "Tell your master that next time he
@ -37796,12 +37797,12 @@ Pecor's Health-Food Principle:
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Pedaeration, n.:
The perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the
sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
sheet and one hanging off the edge of the bed.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
pediddel:
Pediddel, n.:
A car with only one working headlight.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Pedro Guerrero was playing third base for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1984
when he made the comment that earns him a place in my Hall of Fame. Second
@ -38090,7 +38091,7 @@ Peterson's Rules:
(3) Things that tick are not always clocks.
(4) Suicide only works when you're bluffing.
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petribar:
Petribar, n.:
Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in
the window of a vending machine too long.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -38113,10 +38114,10 @@ Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
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Phone call for chucky-pooh.
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phosflink:
To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that
will bring it back to life).
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
Phosflink, v:
To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow,
that will bring it back to life).
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Photographing a volcano is just about
the most miserable thing you can do.
@ -38992,10 +38993,10 @@ PURITAN:
Puritanism -- the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
-- H. L. Mencken, "A Book of Burlesques"
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PURPITATION:
Purpitation, v:
To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you
don't want it, and then put it in another section.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
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Pushing 30 is exercise enough.
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@ -41313,7 +41314,7 @@ Schapiro's Explanation:
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Schizophrenia beats being alone.
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schlattwhapper, n:
Schlattwhapper, n.:
The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down,
hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -41322,11 +41323,6 @@ Schmidt's Observation:
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap
than a thin person.
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Schnuffel, n.:
A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling in your crotch in
mixed company.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
Schwiggle, n.:
The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a
pencil.
@ -41464,9 +41460,10 @@ Roll the tapes across the floor!
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Screw up your courage! You've screwed up everything else.
%
SCRIBLINE:
The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
Scribline, n.:
The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's
signature goes.
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the
Presidency.
@ -42903,9 +42900,10 @@ Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life
and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.
-- Captain James T. Kirk
%
SPAGMUMPS:
Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
Spagmumps, n.:
Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order
items.
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Spare no expense to save money on this one.
-- Samuel Goldwyn
@ -43037,7 +43035,7 @@ SPINSTER:
Spirtle, n.:
The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in
your eye.
-- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Spock: The odds of surviving another
attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
@ -43051,9 +43049,9 @@ Spouse, n.:
Spring is here, spring is here,
Life is skittles and life is beer.
%
SQUATCHO:
Squatcho, n.:
The button at the top of a baseball cap.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Squirrels eating squirrels, my God, that's sick.
%
@ -43848,11 +43846,11 @@ Telephone, n.:
making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
TELEPRESSION:
The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try
hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
burden on the directory assistant.
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends
Telepression, n.:
The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not
try hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead
put the burden on the directory assistant.
-- Rich Hall & Friends, "Sniglets"
%
Television -- a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs
@ -52117,7 +52115,7 @@ Today's weirdness is tomorrow's reason why.
%
Toddlers are the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy.
%
toilet toupee, n:
Toilet Toupee, n:
Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
creating endless annoyance to male users.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
@ -54204,7 +54202,7 @@ women. There, that's it: 24 words. But the guy who wrote the book took
Or consider "The Brothers Karamazov", by the famous Russian alcoholic
Fyodor Dostoevsky. It's about these two brothers who kill their father.
Or maybe only one of them kills the father. It's impossible to tell because
what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages.If all Russians talk
what they mostly do is talk for nearly a thousand pages. If all Russians talk
as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't see how they found time to become a
major world power.
I'm told that Dostoevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
@ -57638,7 +57636,7 @@ XV:
%
XIIdigitation, n.:
The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made
by deciphering the Roman numerals at the end of the credits.
by deciphering the Roman numerals at the end of the credits.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
XLI:

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@ -11810,9 +11810,9 @@ Says an airlining wanton named Vi:
I'll take head on a flight,
So the guy can have pie in the sky."
%
schnuffel, n.:
A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling in your crotch in mixed
company.
Schnuffel, n.:
A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling in your crotch in
mixed company.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
%
"Scott, baby," the sexually aggressive girl murmured as she guided
@ -12173,7 +12173,7 @@ Sniff sniff... Hey! Who farted?
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Snow White:
"Gee guys, I've always dreamed of getting ten inches...
but not an inch-and-a-half at a time!
but not an inch-and-a-half at a time!"
%
"Snyder's got a stiff ticket," said Kay,
"Come on, take it out, and let's play."
@ -13073,7 +13073,7 @@ returned to the rectory to find a note from that worthy.
%
The new rooster caused a great stir in the barnyard. From resplendent comb
to defiant spurs, he was the picture of young bantamhood. Almost immediately
upon arrival, he was greeted by and elderly rooster who took him behind the
upon arrival, he was greeted by an elderly rooster who took him behind the
barn and whispered in his ear: "Young fellow, I'm long past my prime. All I
want now is peace and solitude. So you take over right now as ruler of the
roost with my blessings."
@ -13082,7 +13082,7 @@ a young rooster could. After several days, however, the elder rooster again
took the young champion behind the barn. "Kid," he said, "the hens are after
me for giving up my position so readily. So why don't we have a race, say,
ten laps around the farmhouse? The winner becomes undisputed keeper of the
henhouse and the hens will stop nagging me.
henhouse and the hens will stop nagging me."
The young rooster, with only contempt for his elder, agreed.
Surprisingly, the older one jumped off to an early lead. His counterpart,
weakened by the activities of the previous week, was never quite able to

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@ -1309,7 +1309,7 @@ schlaft
Schlegel
schlemiel
schloshed
schnuffel
Schnuffel
scones
Scot's
scotches

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@ -3642,7 +3642,6 @@ Schmonsequences
schnappen
Schneier
Schnoebelen
Schnuffel
Schrier
Schroder
Schrodinger's