* Reformat several attributions according to ../Notes (mostly whitespace)

* Spell out some names that were pointlessly abbreviated
* Remove a couple of incidental duplicates
* Harry Truman had no actual middle name. The initial "S" was added to his
name to make him appear more statesmanlike. Therefore it's not usually punctuated.
* Format a couple of actual fortunes to fit into 72 columns
This commit is contained in:
dougb 2004-06-01 04:32:11 +00:00
parent 17311e082f
commit 7d8e6666af
2 changed files with 419 additions and 444 deletions

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@ -678,7 +678,7 @@ extracurricular activity except you."
"Well, gee, doesn't Louise count?"
"Only to ten, Mudhead."
-- Firesign Theater
-- Firesign Theater
%
GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN HISTORY #21 -- July 30, 1917
@ -1780,7 +1780,7 @@ If the input was short of exact.
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
%
A CONS is an object which cares.
-- Bernie Greenberg.
-- Bernie Greenberg
%
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
@ -4475,7 +4475,7 @@ Attitude toward law is that the will of the majority shall regulate,
whether it is based upon deliberation or governed by passion,
prejudice, and impulse, without restraint or regard to consequences.
Result is demagogism, license, agitation, discontent, anarchy.
-- U. S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932),
-- U.S. Army Training Manual No. 2000-25 (1928-1932),
since withdrawn.
%
Demographic polls show that you have lost credibility across the
@ -5431,7 +5431,7 @@ For years a secret shame destroyed my peace --
I'd not read Eliot, Auden or MacNiece.
But now I think a thought that brings me hope:
Neither had Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Pope.
-- Justin Richardson.
-- Justin Richardson
%
For your penance, say five Hail Marys and one loud BLAH!
%
@ -5720,7 +5720,7 @@ From the Pointless Comparison Collection:
set off the flash bulb on your camera once.
-- Peter Doms, manager of the Deep Space Network
systems program at JPL.
systems program at JPL
%
From the Pro 350 Pocket Service Guide, p. 49, Step 5 of the
instructions on removing an I/O board from the card cage, comes a new
@ -5770,7 +5770,7 @@ stockings and desolating the country.
%
Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall
on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!
-- Adventures of Asterix.
-- Adventures of Asterix
%
Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep".
@ -8456,7 +8456,7 @@ came out to inform the public. They thought it was just a jest and
applauded. He repeated his warning, they shouted even louder. So I
think the world will come to an end amid general applause from all the
wits, who believe that it is a joke.
-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
-- S. A. Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
@ -12839,7 +12839,7 @@ The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use
in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the
Declaration not for that, but for future use.
-- Abraham Lincoln
-- Abraham Lincoln
%
The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
%
@ -13497,7 +13497,7 @@ The moving cursor writes, and having written, blinks on.
%
"The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in
1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert."
-- D. Letterman
-- David Letterman
%
The National Short-Sleeved Shirt Association says:
Support your right to bare arms!
@ -13764,7 +13764,7 @@ Food and Gravel", which is what it tastes like.
%
The reason we come up with new versions is not to fix bugs. It's
absolutely not.
-- Bill Gates
-- Bill Gates
%
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all
@ -13988,7 +13988,7 @@ annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
%
The United States also has its native Fascists who say that they are
"100 percent American"...
-- U. S. Army (1945)
-- U.S. Army (1945)
%
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
@ -14098,7 +14098,7 @@ existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any
marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat
engine and make some other part of hell comfortably cool. This is
obviously impossible.
-- Richard Davisson
-- Richard Davisson
%
There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the
truth without lying.
@ -15291,12 +15291,12 @@ Weiner's Law of Libraries:
%
Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if
you run out of food.
-- Dean McLaughlin.
-- Dean McLaughlin
%
"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is
no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five
hundred."
-- The Mahabharata.
-- The Mahabharata
%
"We'll cross out that bridge when we come back to it later."
%
@ -15762,7 +15762,7 @@ Whenever anyone says, "theoretically", they really mean, "not really".
%
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to
see it tried on him personally.
-- A. Lincoln
-- Abraham Lincoln
%
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
-- Oscar Wilde
@ -16439,7 +16439,7 @@ You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
%
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do.
-- Olin Miller.
-- Olin Miller
%
You should emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially
if they are dead.

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